Not that I truly, truly need something so extravagant, but It would have been handy today when I came across the Malibu-Barbi pink Hummer. Complete with vanity plates, a matching pink windshield decal announcing it was a Hummer 2 (not simply a Hummer) and a platinum blonde, overly tanned Barbi behind the wheel, I wondered for a moment if the vehicle was part of an April Fool's day prank.
Then I realized that it wasn't yet April and no one in their right mind would take such elaborate steps for a prank.
Of course, no one in their right mind would buy a Malibu-Barbi pink Hummer in general.
My kingdom for a picture of the monstrosity ...
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
No Room For Assholes
A dear friend of mine encouraged me to read the book "The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't" by Robert I Sutton, Ph.D. I have to admit that I was skeptical at first because I have worked too many places that claim to have a no asshole rule only to find that the entire roost was ruled by them.
The book was very good, though. The author not only explained what it was like to work with jerks, but laid out a simple two-question test to identify said jerks:
1. After talking to the alleged asshole, does the "target" feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled by the person? In particular, does the target feel worse about him or herself?
2. Does the alleged asshole aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than at those people who are more powerful?
The second question, I think, is the most telling. How many of us have worked with people who take out their wrath on people who report to them, but are sweet as pie to those they report to? Many would say this is managing up. I'd counter that it is being two-faced.
Further, the author outlined common actions of assholes (or as he called them, The Dirty Dozen):
1. Personal insults
2. Invading one's personal territory
3. Uninvited physical contact
4. Threats and intimidation, both verbal and nonverbal
5. "Sarcastic jokes" and "teasing" used as insult delivery system
6. Withering e-mail flames
7. Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims
8. Public shaming or "status degradation" rituals
9. Rude interruptions
10. Two-faced attacks
11. Dirty looks
12. Treating people as if they are invisible
What I found so interesting about this list is that many people may not even define some of these things as inappropriate behavior. Often, this is because things such as "dirty looks" or "treating people as if they are invisible" are subjective, hard to quantify. They don't always seem to cross the line like yelling or name calling might. That doesn't mean, though, that the behaviors are any less hurtful or demeaning. It's like the classic abuse situation -- just because there aren't bruises doesn't mean that abuse isn't occurring.
The other interesting point that the author made was that we have all been guilty of these behaviors from time to time. The difference, though, is whether you are an occasional asshole or a certified asshole. One is fairly transitory -- it overtakes us and leaves us feeling guilty in the end. The other is, well, the other.
What was also intriguing was the number of places that seem to adopt a no asshole rule only to violate it repeatedly. The end result is poor performance, high turnover and a reputation that some companies (or individual jerks and bullies) cannot overcome.
According to the book, there is an upshot in all of this. For the victims of such abuse, the consolation is knowing that jerks do get theirs in the end. Call it karma or universal retribution or simply the fact that they run out of people who don't know their games and the pain they inflict on others. At the end of the day, these people will suffer for their actions.The book is a quick read and well worth the investment.
********************************************************************
"The difference between how a person treats the powerless versus the powerful is as good a measure of human character as I know."
-- Robert I. Sutton, Ph.D.
Monday, March 23, 2009
This is Simplicity?
In an attempt to simplify my life, I think I have filled it far fuller than before. I am working less than I once was, but now I have -- literally -- stacks of magazines and books left unread, personal writing projects that are unwritten, cross stitch projects that are untackled and artwork that has been left unpainted. And that doesn't even take into account all of the cleaning I want to do and yet somehow never get to. In the midst of this, I am left to wonder when I thought I would have time for it all.
What's even more intriguing is how I got it all done when I was working 70-plus hours a week. Of course, I now have far more time to think and consider the work I am doing and appreciate the little things in life. Still, it's interesting to know what takes priority when your life shifts courses. Work can expand and contract to fill our days, but what else we fit in around the edges defines who we really are.
What's even more intriguing is how I got it all done when I was working 70-plus hours a week. Of course, I now have far more time to think and consider the work I am doing and appreciate the little things in life. Still, it's interesting to know what takes priority when your life shifts courses. Work can expand and contract to fill our days, but what else we fit in around the edges defines who we really are.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Literary Fear Mongering
I really have to wonder about some of the reading materials available out there. During a recent trip to the bookstore, I found a slim paperback book titled "Wash Your Hands! Dirty Truth About Germs, Viruses and Epidemics." Since I have a fairly sick fascination with all things viral, I picked it up. What I didn't realize was the book was little more than a roadmap to turn even the most level-headed American into a hypochondriac. The description on the back of the book reads, in part:
"Did you know the brown spots on apples are carcinogenic? That gardening can lead to Legionnaire's disease? That a a toothbrush can pass on the hepatitis virus, or than an improperly cared-for cavity can endanger the heart? These health risks -- the very real results of diminished attention to personal hygiene, especially hand washing -- crop up in every part of life. ... From allergies to the possibility of an avian flu pandemic, Dr. Frederick Saldmann examines in detail the many dangers that may lie in wait and sets out simple measures for keeping them at safe distance -- his number one mandate being washing your hands as often and as thoroughly as possible."
Hmmmm ... really? It's our inattention to personal hygiene that has caused this? I am to believe that we are dirtier now than at, say, around the Civil War, when baths were taken once a month? And as for the brown spots on apples being carcinogenic ... well, that's a stretch, in my opinion. Brown spots are rot often caused by mold or fungus. Although not particularly toxic, studies have indicated that one of the main forms of this rot could be a genotoxic, which has led people to speculate that it is a carcinogen. Animal studies have been inconclusive.
That's my long way of saying that I think this book represents fear mongering at its worst. Yet you know someone is going to buy this and believe it. And then we are going to have another hypochondriac on our hands.
Help us all.
"Did you know the brown spots on apples are carcinogenic? That gardening can lead to Legionnaire's disease? That a a toothbrush can pass on the hepatitis virus, or than an improperly cared-for cavity can endanger the heart? These health risks -- the very real results of diminished attention to personal hygiene, especially hand washing -- crop up in every part of life. ... From allergies to the possibility of an avian flu pandemic, Dr. Frederick Saldmann examines in detail the many dangers that may lie in wait and sets out simple measures for keeping them at safe distance -- his number one mandate being washing your hands as often and as thoroughly as possible."
Hmmmm ... really? It's our inattention to personal hygiene that has caused this? I am to believe that we are dirtier now than at, say, around the Civil War, when baths were taken once a month? And as for the brown spots on apples being carcinogenic ... well, that's a stretch, in my opinion. Brown spots are rot often caused by mold or fungus. Although not particularly toxic, studies have indicated that one of the main forms of this rot could be a genotoxic, which has led people to speculate that it is a carcinogen. Animal studies have been inconclusive.
That's my long way of saying that I think this book represents fear mongering at its worst. Yet you know someone is going to buy this and believe it. And then we are going to have another hypochondriac on our hands.
Help us all.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Appreciating the Little Bills ...
When I originally left Oregon 16 years ago, I was looking for something bigger and wider and brighter than where I had lived my entire life. So, I moved to Southern California, in search of my own golden dreams.
What I didn't know was just how much gold those dreams would consume in their own right. As I bounced from Victorville (it's near Barstow ... you're thinking of Vacaville, which is in Northern California) to San Bernardino to Wilmington, Del., to Los Angeles to Los Angeles to Los Angeles (yes, three different L.A. areas over the years) to San Diego to San Francisco, it took more and more money just to survive. And I'm not talking cost-of-living increases. These were genuine differences in what it cost to live in each of these communities. My rent decreased only once in all of those moves -- when I left Los Angeles for San Diego. Of course, the 9 percent savings I found there were completely blown away by the 26.5 percent rent hike I took when I moved to San Francisco.
Upon returning to Oregon, I knew that my world view would change. Trees would no longer by dwarfed by buildings. Mom-&-Pop shops would be far more inviting than chain stores. Wide open spaces would hold greater value than urban sprawl. And bills would be lower.
I didn't really know how much lower until I received my electric bill. Having lived in Southern California for several years, I will admit that I am prone to keeping the heat high in my apartment. So, when I opened the bill, I expected it to be a little excessive.
It was $46.
I paused momentarily, thinking about how I used to pay $100 a month for electricity in the winter months in San Diego and $150 or more for gas and electricity in San Francisco during the same time frame. By comparison, $46 was a downright bargain.
Then I realized that $24 of that was the fee to set up my new service. My actual bill for electricity was $22.
This has definitely been a change for the better -- mentally, physically, emotionally and now financially. It may seem ridiculous, but it's true: my cost of living now is what my rent used to be in San Francisco. Isn't it great?
What I didn't know was just how much gold those dreams would consume in their own right. As I bounced from Victorville (it's near Barstow ... you're thinking of Vacaville, which is in Northern California) to San Bernardino to Wilmington, Del., to Los Angeles to Los Angeles to Los Angeles (yes, three different L.A. areas over the years) to San Diego to San Francisco, it took more and more money just to survive. And I'm not talking cost-of-living increases. These were genuine differences in what it cost to live in each of these communities. My rent decreased only once in all of those moves -- when I left Los Angeles for San Diego. Of course, the 9 percent savings I found there were completely blown away by the 26.5 percent rent hike I took when I moved to San Francisco.
Upon returning to Oregon, I knew that my world view would change. Trees would no longer by dwarfed by buildings. Mom-&-Pop shops would be far more inviting than chain stores. Wide open spaces would hold greater value than urban sprawl. And bills would be lower.
I didn't really know how much lower until I received my electric bill. Having lived in Southern California for several years, I will admit that I am prone to keeping the heat high in my apartment. So, when I opened the bill, I expected it to be a little excessive.
It was $46.
I paused momentarily, thinking about how I used to pay $100 a month for electricity in the winter months in San Diego and $150 or more for gas and electricity in San Francisco during the same time frame. By comparison, $46 was a downright bargain.
Then I realized that $24 of that was the fee to set up my new service. My actual bill for electricity was $22.
This has definitely been a change for the better -- mentally, physically, emotionally and now financially. It may seem ridiculous, but it's true: my cost of living now is what my rent used to be in San Francisco. Isn't it great?
Monday, March 9, 2009
My Closet Runneth Over
25 percent of clothes in women's closets never leave the hanger.
Why? Because they don't fit.
This was an interesting fact to find after spending the weekend contemplating my own closet. They say that, in general, we wear only 20 percent of the clothes we own. I think that's actually being generous. Even after purging dozens and dozens of shoes and shirts and skirts and pants over the past year, I still find myself with much more than I ever wear. Does one person really need more than 15 sweaters? Even if I wore them every day, I will still have two full weeks of sweaters at my disposal. Seems excessive.
Now, I am not one to advocate wearing the same outfit day in and day out. Gilligan's Island my life is not. Nor am I the type to push for a wardrobe made up of only five pants, five shirts and five pairs of socks. There is always the need for that special outfit that you pull out only for the holidays or a party. For a polished suit that looks great in a job interview or a meeting. But, does a woman really need 10 different pairs of black pumps?
The reality is that the need for things has gotten so bad that it has impacted every part of our lives. We have to pay more for bigger houses to hold more things. And when we fill our houses, we rent storage lockers, which often come on 10 different sizes that are able to accommodate everything from the measly mess-maker to the perfected pack-rat.
That said, even though I know the pitfalls of consumption, I would still probably buy another pair of black pumps if they were the exact color I needed and they made me feel as though I were walking on pillows all day. After all, I may be trying to live simply, but I am still a woman.
Why? Because they don't fit.
This was an interesting fact to find after spending the weekend contemplating my own closet. They say that, in general, we wear only 20 percent of the clothes we own. I think that's actually being generous. Even after purging dozens and dozens of shoes and shirts and skirts and pants over the past year, I still find myself with much more than I ever wear. Does one person really need more than 15 sweaters? Even if I wore them every day, I will still have two full weeks of sweaters at my disposal. Seems excessive.
Now, I am not one to advocate wearing the same outfit day in and day out. Gilligan's Island my life is not. Nor am I the type to push for a wardrobe made up of only five pants, five shirts and five pairs of socks. There is always the need for that special outfit that you pull out only for the holidays or a party. For a polished suit that looks great in a job interview or a meeting. But, does a woman really need 10 different pairs of black pumps?
The reality is that the need for things has gotten so bad that it has impacted every part of our lives. We have to pay more for bigger houses to hold more things. And when we fill our houses, we rent storage lockers, which often come on 10 different sizes that are able to accommodate everything from the measly mess-maker to the perfected pack-rat.
That said, even though I know the pitfalls of consumption, I would still probably buy another pair of black pumps if they were the exact color I needed and they made me feel as though I were walking on pillows all day. After all, I may be trying to live simply, but I am still a woman.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Splendor of the Mountain
There's a spot as you head east out of McMinnville on Highway 18 where the treeline dips just enough to catch a glimpse of majestic Mt. Jefferson on the horizon. The glacier-blanketed peak seems to be permanently bathed in a sunset-pink hue that beckons to distant travelers.
Mt. Hood may be the symbol of Oregon, but its 10,497-tall brother has become the symbol of my freedom. When the clouds part and I see the mountain, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of peace. It's like nature is reminding me of my ability to find space, room to breathe. It may have taken me 38 years to get to this point, but I am incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to experience it.
Photos taken of Mt. Jefferson as I was driving out of McMinnville:
Highway 18 is in the foreground. Mt. Jefferson is in the distance.
A better picture of the mountain. It's a little crooked, but I was driving when I took it. :)
Mt. Hood may be the symbol of Oregon, but its 10,497-tall brother has become the symbol of my freedom. When the clouds part and I see the mountain, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of peace. It's like nature is reminding me of my ability to find space, room to breathe. It may have taken me 38 years to get to this point, but I am incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to experience it.
Photos taken of Mt. Jefferson as I was driving out of McMinnville:
Highway 18 is in the foreground. Mt. Jefferson is in the distance.
A better picture of the mountain. It's a little crooked, but I was driving when I took it. :)
When you see this picture, consider that the mountain is more than 120 miles from the eastern edge of McMinnville. If I was to drive to the mountain, I would log about 154 miles on my car.
Other facts:
-- Mount Jefferson was named for Pres. Thomas Jefferson by the Lewis and Clark Expedition
-- The expedition first saw the peak in March 1806 from the mouth of the Willamette River
-- Because of its remoteness, few geology studies have been completed on the mountain
-- It is a stratovolcano -- a tall, conical volcano with many layers of hardened lava, tephra and ash
-- Researchers speculate that the mountain may be extinct, but it has awoken after long periods of inactivity at least twice before
Focus for the Year
After two interesting months -- January living with my family and February spent moving and unpacking -- I have decided that the year ahead needs to be focused on finding sanity in my life. While certain pressures have decreased significantly in my life, others haver persisted. Mainly, I believe, because I have allowed them to. After all, how do I live without worry? How do I continue without stress? How do I say no to friends when their requests don't make my heart sing?
So, for the next year, I am going to try to chronicle my work toward this end. Finding sanity. Remembering to love the little things in life. Taking time to breathe.
So, for the next year, I am going to try to chronicle my work toward this end. Finding sanity. Remembering to love the little things in life. Taking time to breathe.
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