No Room For Assholes

A dear friend of mine encouraged me to read the book "The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't" by Robert I Sutton, Ph.D. I have to admit that I was skeptical at first because I have worked too many places that claim to have a no asshole rule only to find that the entire roost was ruled by them.

The book was very good, though. The author not only explained what it was like to work with jerks, but laid out a simple two-question test to identify said jerks:

1. After talking to the alleged asshole, does the "target" feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled by the person? In particular, does the target feel worse about him or herself?

2. Does the alleged asshole aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than at those people who are more powerful?

The second question, I think, is the most telling. How many of us have worked with people who take out their wrath on people who report to them, but are sweet as pie to those they report to? Many would say this is managing up. I'd counter that it is being two-faced.

Further, the author outlined common actions of assholes (or as he called them, The Dirty Dozen):

1. Personal insults
2. Invading one's personal territory
3. Uninvited physical contact
4. Threats and intimidation, both verbal and nonverbal
5. "Sarcastic jokes" and "teasing" used as insult delivery system
6. Withering e-mail flames
7. Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims
8. Public shaming or "status degradation" rituals
9. Rude interruptions
10. Two-faced attacks
11. Dirty looks
12. Treating people as if they are invisible

What I found so interesting about this list is that many people may not even define some of these things as inappropriate behavior. Often, this is because things such as "dirty looks" or "treating people as if they are invisible" are subjective, hard to quantify. They don't always seem to cross the line like yelling or name calling might. That doesn't mean, though, that the behaviors are any less hurtful or demeaning. It's like the classic abuse situation -- just because there aren't bruises doesn't mean that abuse isn't occurring.

The other interesting point that the author made was that we have all been guilty of these behaviors from time to time. The difference, though, is whether you are an occasional asshole or a certified asshole. One is fairly transitory -- it overtakes us and leaves us feeling guilty in the end. The other is, well, the other.

What was also intriguing was the number of places that seem to adopt a no asshole rule only to violate it repeatedly. The end result is poor performance, high turnover and a reputation that some companies (or individual jerks and bullies) cannot overcome.

According to the book, there is an upshot in all of this. For the victims of such abuse, the consolation is knowing that jerks do get theirs in the end. Call it karma or universal retribution or simply the fact that they run out of people who don't know their games and the pain they inflict on others. At the end of the day, these people will suffer for their actions.

The book is a quick read and well worth the investment.

********************************************************************

"The difference between how a person treats the powerless versus the powerful is as good a measure of human character as I know."

-- Robert I. Sutton, Ph.D.