Career Choices

I thought about becoming a Personal Organizer. They earn good money, get to make their own hours and they don't need a specialized degree to do it. Besides, how hard could it be? Chuck old stuff that has no sentimental value and find homes for the rest. Invest in a few boxes and a label maker and you're set, right?

Then I read that professional organizers need to be compassionate.

Well, crap ... there goes another career aspiration.

Continuing Absurdity of Commercials

The Celebrity: Julianne Hough (the "professional" dancer from Dancing with the Stars who became a "professional" country singer)

The Set Up: Poor Julianne used to suffer from unsightly pimples under her caked-on make-up. She needed a way to take those pimples away.

The Solution/Product: A three-step acne-fighting regimen

The Absurdity:

1. While "demonstrating" the product, "professional" Julianne "smooths" the cleanser on her face and then "wipes it off" with washcloth. Of course, the washcloth isn't wet and her face is still caked with make-up after using the cleanser. Does this acne company think we're stupid?

2. Perhaps, just perhaps, if poor Julianne wore a little less make-up, she wouldn't break out and wouldn't need the acne line. Or, if she didn't partake in a profession that required her to complete a full workout while she was in full make-up, she might find the same results.

But that would be smart. And sensible. And simple.

Cutting Through the BS of BS

I have been struck of late by the number of products Brooke Shields is peddling. It seems like every time I turn on the TV, I am bombarded by yet another commercial featuring her extolling the benefits of a product. As of now, I have seen her in commercials for toothpaste and a sun block that somehow, amazingly reverses the signs of sun damage. How ever do they do that?

The third BS-hawked product is a prescription medicine that is used to make your eye lashes longer. Of course, one potential side effect of using such a drug is that your eyes could be permanently discolored. Yeah, like that's what I want to use. Or promote.

Aside from the absurdity of the products, though, I find two fascinating things in all of this:

1. Is Brooke Shields really so hard up after her miserable, overrated flop called "Lipstick Jungle" was tossed off the air that she has to jump on any and every commercial opportunity that comes her way?

2. Do companies really believe that Brooke Shields has the appeal necessary to convince naive consumers to mindlessly buy their products? I find it hard to believe that people decide to buy something just because they've seen BS in a commercial.

Of course, I find it hard to believe that anyone is buying anything simply because they have seen it in a commercial. Can't we think for ourselves? Can't we figure out what's right for our lives without someone telling us what we need to make it better?

Here's to cutting out the BS in our lives.

Finally Read THE Book

For years, friends have been telling me that I needed to read "The Devil Wears Prada." They said that I would find Miranda Priestly familiar.

From watching the movie, I already knew that the similarities I saw were almost haunting. I still can't watch Meryl Streep say "Why is no one ready?" in just that oh-so-put-upon tone without having flashbacks of a woman I worked with who brought every assistant she ever had to tears ... on a regular basis.

When you are in the midst of a similar situation, though, the last thing you want to do is read a book that reminds you of just how horrible people can be in treating others. So, try as I might, I couldn't ever make it past more than the first five pages.

Finally, after much coaxing by a friend, I picked up the book again to read. In the movie, of course, you only get a glimpse of the depravity of which this woman is capable. The book was much more enlightening than I could imagine. Not only did it remind me that I worked with a woman exactly like Miranda Priestly, but it made me realize I also worked with a woman who must have been using the book as a primer on how to get ahead in management.

Of course, in reading this, I once again have to ask: What makes people act like this? What drives them to such horrendous behavior? Are they just so unhappy with their own lives that they must spew their vile on others? Are they jealous? Bullies? Drunk with power? Were they just born without any empathy?

Let's face it, if these Mirandas of the world were out killing people in the same way they slaughter careers, egos, emotions and personal lives, we would call them sociopaths. Instead, the best we can muster is "assholes," all the while hoping the moniker will be enough to warn others of the darkness in their souls.

Does Anyone Actually Listen to Songs Anymore?

Now, I will admit that I really liked Duran Duran when I was a teenager, but clearly, I didn't pay much attention to the lyrics. The following is a line from their song "Hungry Like the Wolf" (forever immortalized in Oregon history as being the song that was playing on the radio when Diane Downs shot her own children):

"I smell like I sound ..."

Um ... WHAT?

I'd write out the rest of the lyrics, but they don't help clarify what that line is supposed to be conveying.

Coffee Oases

A few days ago, I told a friend that I was in a bad mood and had almost rammed a woman who was trying to beat me to the drive through at Starbucks. I was surprised to discover that what she found most fascinating about my story was not that I had been in such an irritable mood, but that there was such a thing as a Starbucks with a drive through.

Considering she lives in Manhattan, that probably shouldn't have surprised me. But it did make me start thinking about how ubiquitous drive-through coffee joints are in Oregon. So, I decided to count those in my own little community. In counting, I included only those that were:

1. Drive-throughs
2. Predominantly coffee places (no McDonald's, for example, could be included)
3. On the main drag through town (I didn't, after all, want to go crazy and try to track down every coffee joint in town)

In a town of 32,400 people on a 3.2-mile stretch of road, I came up with eight:

Coffee shops on the south side of Highway 99

Start with the Starbucks, of course.

If you look closely (behind the tree), you will see the "drive thru" sign.


Sorry, I was taking some of these while driving. This is a little trailer that is always busy.

Another driving picture. Bad, I know. This is near City Hall, across from the fire station.

Coffee shops on the north side of Highway 99

This one is in Texaco's parking lot. Gas and coffee all in one spot.

This is a little place called LeAnn's. If you look in the background, you can see the sign for Wal-Mart.

The larger of two Dutch Bros. in town.

The smaller Dutch Bros. This one has only one drive-up window.

The little Java Junction that's across Highway 99 from Starbucks. It does great business. One of the biggest sellers is its Mexican hot chocolate.

See? Despite what everyone might say, I come by my love for coffee honestly. It's an Oregon institution.

Of course, don't make me count the number of wineries in and around my little town. That little Oregon institution would put the coffee places to shame. :)

Time Keeps on Slipping, Slipping Away

Time has been slipping away for me. Obviously. I haven't found time to post in weeks. In fact, I can't make it through the first chapter in my organize your life handbook.

Is that pathetic or what?