Continuing Absurdity of Commercials Part II

The Celebrity: Sarah Jessica Parker (a.k.a. SJP, ex-Carrie Bradshaw)

The Set Up: Based on the commercial, it's a little hard to tell at first. The only thing I can seem to focus on when SJP appears on screen is how big her forehead seems with her hair pulled back and how bright and smooth and shiny her face appears. Her head almost looks like a bowling ball.

Then, as she starts prattling on and squeezing a little red ball, we get to hear about how she's concerned with preventing and repairing lines and wrinkles on her face.

The Solution/Product: Well, obviously ... it's for a skin care line designed to relieve people of their unsightly wrinkles ... and apparently every distinguishing facial feature they have ever had.

The Absurdity: Where do I even begin? The list seems endless:

1. Her skin has obviously been sandblasted to doll-like perfection (hopefully, by a doctor). It is not natural and no matter how many times you use this over-the-counter product, you will not achieve these results.

2. The commercial is perfectly lit so that it flattens out every feature and no shadow can possibly fall in a wrinkle or a crevice. Unfortunately, the rest of us mere mortals do not have the option of being perfectly lit from all sides at all times.

3. Sorry, but I remember SJP back from the days when she was in "Square Pegs," as well as that painful "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" movie (opposite Helen Hunt) and the delightfully odd "L.A. Story" (opposite Steve Martin). Even then, she sported the first sign of crows feet. Again, believing an over-the-counter potion can counteract the long-term effects of sun and Hollywood is absurd.

4. She smokes. And she's over 40. Smoker + Over 40 = Anything but wrinkle-free skin.

Parting Thought: I don't care how many potions and lotions you inject into SJP's face, if you squash her head the way she squeezes the red rubber ball, nothing would bounce back.